My wife shared with me a wonderful true story about a Chihuahua that she was trying to bring home to be her pet many years ago
It was a cold, blustery winter day when she drove to pick him up. Once in the car, he was quite active and not very trusting. When she arrived at her apartment, the dog kept evading her grasp, not wanting to go with her inside.
She was not giving up on taking him in, for she knew that she could prevail by trying something different. With patience, she turned off her car and sat in the car quietly ignoring her “companion”.
It took two hours for the car to get very cold. Slowly, without prompting, the Chihuahua came to sit on her lap for warmth. Without words nor a stern voice to get his attention. Armed only with her patience, love of animals and a belief that he would eventually welcome her into his life.
This story is special for me, for the lesson it teaches.
The insight of her approach was to not pursue something that she wanted in a direct way. She had little chance of gaining the dog’s trust by imposing her will. Rather, she knew that by being patient and letting things unfold by her presence, things would get much further and did.
We are guilty many times of being direct, trying to impose our will selfishly on others. Especially parents with teenage children or adults with friends or family. All of us have been on both sides of this type of confrontation.
Situations like this demand patience, love, and presence. Where if you stop focusing on the outcome you demand and instead work at cultivating trust and providing unconditional love, you too can bring those that are mad at you closer to you over time. Revealing to both of you the power of listening to voices of reason (by each one of you).
For we are more alike than different, once we get passed all of the noise.