The easiest way to give you a sense of what I mean by flawed is have you ever been involved in a discussion that resulted in someone saying “they should have known better”? This conclusion is one of the most easy to offer and misleading conclusion anyone can come to in any situation.
The famous “they”. I always laugh because you rarely hear the word “I”.
Steven Covey got it right when he said that “first seek to understand and then be understood”. The ancient Greeks also got it right when they said “know thyself”.
What becomes powerful in your life is when you put these two phrases together:
“To know thyself you must first seek to understand (yourself) and then be understood (to express yourself and who you are to others).”
We are quick to judge. We are quick to provide a solution. We are quick to jump to conclusions. We are quick to become frustrated with others. We are quick to buy the magic “thing” that will solve our problem.
The truth is that we are slow to learn. We are slow to see what we don’t know. We are slow to see the true or underlying problem. We are slow to see another perspective. We are slow to see what is frustrating the other person. We are slow to see what we don’t understand. We are slow to see what others don’t understand.
We are slow to see how something works. We are slow to learn how to do something well. We are slow to understand why someone is telling us what they are telling us and how it would help us. We are slow to see why something is important.
We are all flawed because we really don’t know everything (many times others know more or have experienced more than we have). We are all flawed because we rush to use logic to demonstrate knowledge without simply admitting that we don’t know much about what is being talked about. We are all flawed because life itself is not as certain as we make it out to be. We are all flawed because it takes more time than we will ever admit to understanding something well from “all sides”.
Then add our ego to this mess and look what happens. We become too proud to slow down. It makes us rush to conclusions or advice or explanations so that we simply look good. Our ego makes us selfish to rush and serve only our interest. And it blinds us to the most important realization that we become the “they” in another person’s life.
Don’t become a “they”. Both you and I can do much better than that. Be remembered by name for the value you brought to each relationship and person you meet along the way by always remembering first that we are all flawed —- not just “they”.
And try to enjoy life’s diversity and imperfection with patience, humility and love. It can be great!