Bits of Life Missed Worth Exploring

Why can’t I…….


Have. Be like. Get.

We have all used this phrase at the beginning of a sentence at different times in our life. You choose the ending. I am sure there are many more.

When we use the phrase “why can’t I …..” (with whatever ending) it always comes loaded with self doubt, jealousy, and lack of confidence. Sometimes it’s used as an expression of our frustration.

This quicksand of comparison literally sinks us, deadens us, and becomes an anchor on our lives that we can never overcome. The most important reason comparisions never work with respect to us and other people’s lives is simply NONE OF US ARE EXACTLY ALIKE.

We may, over time develop some of the skills that we envy in others, but our expression of those skills will always be unique to who we are and most likely slightly different. We may accumulate some of the posessions that we envy in others but most likely will take longer to get than it seemed it took for “them”.

And if we are comparing relationships then, sorry, there is no chance because now not only are you different but whoever is the other half of your relationship issues will be different as well. So stop right now saying “Why can’t I have, be, get, be like” or whatever is your favorite ending.

Asking the question “Why can’t I..” only brings about an illusion and false hope that things in our life will be different tomorrow. Or, sadly, we convince ourselves that it can never happen to us.

Nothing is ever that simple. Nothing is ever that hopeless. Most everything takes our focus, our discipline and work.

What we should be saying is that we would like to work at becoming better at a specific skill or personality trait that we enjoy in others.  To have a chance at developing and growing as a person, you owe it to yourself to be more confident, flexible, and open to new things.

Can we be like Michael Jordan on a basketball court if that is the skill we would like to become good at? Most likely not. Here too, we need to know our limitations.

But mix all of these things together and over time, with effort, the words “I can now…” will begin to appear in our life, beliefs, and in our actions.

We all have the potential to express our lives in more meaningful ways with those around us. Everyone. You and I. In ways that are unique to us alone. We should be excited about our lives as well as our heart.

More times than not, we use our heart as the ideal to measure our disappointments against. What we should be doing is listening more to our heart to understand better more of what we are capable of achieving.

You can never hide your smile or your sorrow and frustration because all them begin from deep within your heart.

Our challenge is “to be more of….” than to be “more like”. Your heart knows.  It is the only part of us that can never hide who we really are and what we really believe to be important to us.

Sometimes though, our heart fails to see what “more of” we and it are capable of pursuing.

Our challenge is to make “I can now..” to become “more of”. More of everything that is good and consistent with what is in our heart. Not in a stubborn way. Not in a way that is inconsistent with our many responsibilities. Nor in a way that is too limiting.

We have a lifetime to grow. Never waste a minute of it doubting that you are able or worthy. I am excited for you for I know you have much more to give and to be than you think.

I am learning this about myself and that makes me excited too!

Bits of Life Missed Worth Exploring


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