Certainty is what I call one of our “greatest walls of deception”. I think of how many times I was certain of what I saw, of what I believed, or what will happen. And how many times I ended up being wrong.
Always being certain closes us off from possibility. It closes us off from listening to others. We listen but don’t hear what was said. We dismiss what we heard without questioning “why would they tell me what they did”?
Certainty gives us a false sense of strength that allows our ego to say that we are in control, that we are right, that we know what we are doing. Yes, each one of us has the right to live our lives as we wish.
But certainty builds a wall around our life that keeps us from finding out who we truly can become. It stops us from reaching outside of our comfort zone to see what can be possible. It limits the gift of experience that others share with us in helping us work through our problems.
When I was younger, I never asked the question “what if I am thinking about this or that in a wrong way?” (I was always so certain that I was right.) Stop and reflect on this. Have you ever asked the question when making a “big” decision in your life as to whether or not you are looking at something the right way? You see, the decision you make could be right for how you see things, but what if you see or are interpreting things in the wrong way? Did you miss things that you should consider?
Our world becomes very small the more certain we are. We become less connected with others. There is a false sense of strength that hides our fear of learning. It hides our fear of trying something new. It simply makes us lazy. We need to try (in some small way) what we are being told before we should declare with certainty that it won’t work for me.
Certainty keeps us from finding out where we are. There can be little perspective when we are so certain. Are we centered, balanced, or in an “extreme” state that is unbalanced? You can never know because your certainty never allows you to see where your ideas fit with respect to another person’s ideas about the same topic or issue.
Always being certain tells me that you don’t want anyone’s help. When I see this in someone’s eyes and in their actions I simply stop trying to help. The sad part is, while it is wrong for me to stop trying, you’ve lost out on the love and concern that someone has for you. When was the last time you heard that someone was told something to intentionally hurt them?
Don’t always be certain so that you can begin to hear the words that you are listening to. To begin to see the heart of another reaching out to help by first holding your hand in your time of need or confusion. Don’t let certainty keep your dreams of possibility from becoming real.
Life can be so exciting, promising and fulfilling when we are engaged, connected and willing to hear what someone is trying to teach us. Don’t let certainty get in your way!