Clarification is defined in Dictionary.com as “to make (an idea, statement, etc.) clear or intelligible; to free from ambiguity.” It is key to effective listening that most of us do not practice.
The simplest way to see if you clarify at all when listening to others is whether or not you comment on what was said or if you ask a question to understand further what someone just stated. The first response implies that you clearly (but possibly mistakenly) understood what you heard.
The second response of asking a question to further explore what the other person is saying is an admition that you believe that you need more context and to see how deep or wide the issue, story, problem or request really is.
When you ask for clarification you are trying to understand what a person is thinking instead of what they are saying. You are showing the other person respect by taking the time to listen, help or answer instead of quickly responding with shallow thoughts to something that might be very important to the other person.
You see when you quickly answer, there is a part of you that is screaming “look at how much I know”. Asking a question during a conversation screams “I am interested in what you are telling me.” Huge difference. It can be felt although many times we don’t articulate these feelings.
Try to clarify by asking more questions during a conversation. Your relationships might just get stronger because of it.