We have them all of the time. Every day. Each one of us with others. Anecdotes of things that happened to us. Frustration of things that are not going well. Uncertainty of what decision to make. The sharing of an idea. Laughter at the end of a story.
It becomes more obvious to me as I age, that our lives really center around us. Our lives don’t go a certain way because others have decided. Only we can decide how to live our life. What we do or don’t do. What we choose. Nothing ever happens while we are passive and aloof and distant.
Conversations are a great example of this. We listen to what is said when we are in a conversation. Most likely, we share our ideas, perspectives, or concerns. We do this quite freely. We have grown up learning how to be part of a conversation.
The funny thing is that most of our conversations die the minute we leave the group and this is so wrong. There is always something that we can learn from our conversations when we don’t let them evaporate the minute they end.
I find that the most powerful conversations I have had either have left me confused or wanting more. Confusion is good because it means that my beliefs have been challenged. The end result hopefully will be personal growth. Understanding more and widening our perspective starts when we become confused. It takes time for us to move to an expanded perspective or belief.
Wanting more of a conversation are those rare times where we are engaged and are learning so many new things either about ourselves or how to reach our goals. Others know so much more than we do. It’s exciting to meet them and be part of the conversation even if we don’t contribute as much as they do.
The key factors in keeping conversations alive in our minds and hearts past their physical ending is our ability to reflect and our confidence in risking the possibility of trying or seeing or learning to make our lives better and more meaningful for us. Of having the ability to understand that our thinking may be a little more imperfect than we think and maybe there is another way of thinking that would help.
Too many times I see people run from confusion, run from new ideas, and run from the risk of change. Don’t be one of them. You might be surprised how each of your conversations can in some small way help you. This will happen only if you agree to do so because the others in the conversation are gone.