Different points of view, expectations, experiences, agendas, preferences, ego, past, responsibilities, status. Different levels of knowledge or information. Different priorities. The list goes on.
It’s easy to become divided. It happens to couples, spouses, friends, cultures, teams, committees, and organizations. At times, it even happens to us as individuals when faced with making a difficult choice.
What does it feel like when we are divided? There is tension, uncertainty, hard feelings, mixed signals. There usually is a lot of energy expended that results in the frustration of accomplishing little.
What is true about each of us when in the middle of a situation where you are divided? We are so certain of our point of view and our actions. We get confused when we see little happening. In the extreme, two things tend to happen. We either just want to run away from situations or we push forward without little concern for others and the collateral damage you might cause in prevailing.
The interesting thing when in these situations is we never think of how weak and unstable our situation is. We never measure how our behavior or actions contribute to amplifying the instability. Our intense desire to be right and prevail actually further destabilizes the situation. It alienates others making the division even greater.
When divided, outcomes tend to be weak, unpredictable, and disappointing. Consistency never appears. The effectiveness of an outcome, in reaching our intended goal or purpose, is no better than our chances of winning the lottery.
Accommodation of other’s ideas, giving in for a greater good, and maybe even making what you consider a sub-optimal decision may lead to more consistency and better outcomes.
As parents, not being divided, gives your children a better chance to become stronger individuals as adults.
As members of committees, companies, and charitable organizations, not being divided, gives you a better chance for building momentum for your ideas and decisions to take root and multiply through others.
It’s another example where smarts isn’t what is important but rather building the skills of patience, maturity, and willingness to engage honestly with others during discussions that could make all the difference in “your world”.