During a wonderful dinner conversation, I was reminded of how confusing humans can be. With great empathy, I listened to someone who could not explain the actions of someone they knew well and loved. This frustrated them and made them restless to know why.
Facing our humanity and of others is a most difficult and ambitious task. Especially when trying to explain what we see, heard, or feel.
The ambition to fully understand either ourselves or others feels good when considered. Priding ourselves on creating “the complete story” makes us feel good in that we think we understand. Our explanations seem logical when focused on others and, at times, delusional when we are the subject because it is so hard to see ourselves clearly for who we are.
The difficulty of facing our humanity and others is that we are so complex as humans. The mixture of our past, our experiences, our knowledge, & our proximity to those that confuse us makes it difficult for us to see clearly.
Our hopes, expectations and dreams bend reality to fit our worldview. Our bias “that we are right” distorts what we see in front of us. The depth in our soul is desperately fearful to share what it really thinks & believes.
None of us walk in the other person’s shoes. Our understanding or confusion would be totally different if we did. Rarely do we look to reflect on where our steps took us because we are much too busy.
Counter-intuitively, it is the silence of our presence that can make us cherish the humanity and unexplained things that each of us carry with us. Relieving us of the urgency to understand. Allowing us the opportunity to embrace the other person with gratitude acknowledging their presence in our lives and being grateful that they are there.
Funny, doesn’t all of this sound like the beginning of unconditional love? Offered freely, without any expectation of return?