Every day we hear about national security or computer security. Airport security has become a traditional way of life. We have alarms on our houses so that our home can be secure. Job security has been in the forefront as many struggle with joblessness. The security of our schools has become a new important concern for parents.
Security is a big deal to us in our lives. We talk openly about security. We share without reservation our feelings towards issues involving security. Being secure describes an outcome that all of us desire in our lives.
What’s fascinating to me is that it is the opposite of security — insecurity — that is the much more powerful force in our lives. It is rare I hear anyone ever talk about insecurity. I don’t read about it anywhere.
I describe it as being powerful because it changes or limits or inhibits our behavior greatly when it is present. Insecurity being described as powerful is laughable for it is not something we wish to have present in our lives.
Insecurity is another “silent killer” that steals our chance of becoming everything that we can be. It pushes us away from things that would truly benefit us in our lives. It stops us from trying. It stops us from sharing. It stops us from believing in our abilities.
Insecurity lives only within us and cannot be found “outside” of us.
We never see or understand our insecurities yet they hover around us, following us like a shadow that we can never escape when on a sunny beach in the late afternoon. Never being able to tell someone else that I feel insecure makes us powerless to stand up to the destruction it causes in our lives.
Insecurity makes us settle for much less. Insecurity hides from us the many possibilities we could experience, enjoy, and learn from because it whispers in our ear that “we can’t” or that we don’t deserve something different or better.
We resort to fancy clothes, new cars, big houses, and buying stuff to tell the world (and sadly ourselves) that we are not insecure. That we belong. That we understand who we are. When we are very insecure we look around us and see what we have and find little use for a mirror to help us see who we really are.
It’s interesting that I find, sometimes, that the largest voice in the room, the person with the strongest opinions, the person with the most jewelry, or the person who outwardly seems to exemplify strength as being a person who is most insecure.
A person with a strong insecurity comes across with a great arrogance about them that only time and life will temper with difficulties.
Arrogance is extreme insecurity.
The irony of all of this is that as we confront and share openly our insecurities with others so that we can learn and be helped along the way, we become empowered and secure within ourselves. Insecurity can lead to strength but only after we become aware of them enough to be able to share them with others.
I’ve learned it’s much easier to simply be yourself, to listen with love, and to share with humility both our strengths and our weakness so that together we can continue to learn from each other.
Simply look up at your insecurities and smile telling them that it’s ok that “they are here” knowing well that engaging life around you will make them disappear “right before your very own eyes”!