Bits of Life Missed Worth Exploring

Instead of Focusing On Change – Focus on Your Choices


Change is sought after frequently. We yearn for a change in ourselves and our lives. In our work, our challenges, and circumstances.

We find though, change is elusive. It rarely materializes and never in its entirety in individuals or organizations, especially as we grow older. Routine and habit make change challenging for both.

Instead of fixating on change, we should shift our focus to choice, particularly as adults. When faced with situations that demand change, we should first explore our options. What choices do we have? What outcomes can each selection bring? Can we work with what is around us?

Start by deciding on a desired outcome given what we see and/or feel. Even when it feels uncomfortable. This outcome will then reveal what needs to change in order to achieve it.

Too often, people feel helpless in their situations, unaware of the choices that brought them there. Most times made “without thinking”. Choice, by its nature, automatically includes and excludes things from our lives. Every time we choose. This dual nature of choice is at the core of why choosing can be difficult.

Responsibilities undoubtedly limit our choices, as life tries to prioritize responsibility over selfish interests (but doesn’t always succeed). Our “small world” of experiences, education, or network may also limit the choices we think are the only ones available to us. Our available resources can constrain us as well. Knowing who we are, and where we have been, together with what we know and don’t know, can be a helpful intermediate step in making more effective choices.

In moments when others frustrate us, choosing not to let their actions or words affect us is a valid alternative. Choices don’t always have to be grand or disruptive; even small choices matter. Cultivating balanced perspectives can be key to overcoming the inertia we face when our emotions overwhelm our thinking.

Choosing differently can be difficult when we feel there are no other options. This is why seeking to find and understand your options before making choices can be so powerful. There’s always an element of uncertainty when choosing differently. It can be daunting, but I’ve learned that, in most cases, it is not insurmountable.

Trial and error shape much of our lives. Learning from each trial and error, adjusting, and making different choices enriches our lives year after year.

Our choices define us. They reflect our hearts and the passions that truly empower us. The closer our choices align with our core, the more impact we have on creating a meaningful life for ourselves and those around us.

Bits of Life Missed Worth Exploring


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