We always proudly boast about what we know. Never show anyone our weakness. When these things happen, we sometimes excuse them for having our ego interfere with what’s true.
I see the greater harm when we go about our daily affairs thinking, without thought, that we know so much and use that knowledge to move ahead in our life. Silently confident I would call this state. Definitely not arrogant. But could be very harmful.
This is best explained when we are working towards some tangible, measurable goal and miss it. Our quick response is that “this happened” or “that did not happen”. “You won’t believe what happened that I did not expect.” And on and on, with weak excuses that are told to us in such descriptive language.
What I don’t hear often, is someone say that my thinking is flawed. That either there is something I don’t know (but thought I did) or that my assumptions are wrong or there are better ways to get to my goal.
I can’t tell you how many times I have been disappointed in my performance. Out of frustration, I would say that my mixed or poor results “haunted me” as if I carried them around as my shadow. I could never break away from this mediocrity, just as my shadow runs with me, attached, while in the sun.
After a long time, I began to believe that there was something inside of me that caused this mediocrity to continue. It wasn’t circumstances. It wasn’t bad luck. Slowly, I began to discover that it was my thinking.
Too incomplete to fully grasp what needed to be done in a situation to yield good results. Too naive to understand what others were telling me that was important. Too busy to stop and reflect on who I am and what is of value to me. Too fearful of doing something very different that would hurt the deep friendships I’ve created with my habits.
I am no longer jealous of people who say “I know”. For I have come to realize, that it is such an incomplete phrase that takes a lifetime to achieve.