I am amazed at the number of people who behave as if life is single sided. Where their point of view is the only one that counts or must prevail. Believing that their plan is the only one that will work. Life is not single sided. It never is.
Steven Covey tells us that we need to understand first before being understood. It’s so difficult to do. Part of understanding is to discover perspectives, beliefs, and thinking that are different than our own. When trying to do this, we rush to “tell our side”. Never questioning what we heard to understand someone else better. Rushing to judgment with an imperfect and/or flawed understanding.
It is only when you begin to mature, that you realize that nothing of substance can be accomplished alone. We need others to learn, grow, do, and achieve. Life is all about our relationships. Within our family. Work. Non-profit. Friends. Peers. Mentors. Spouses. Significant others. Volunteers. Leaders. Customers. Children. Parents. Neighbors. Followers. Team members. Employees. Employers. And so on.
What we aspire to depends in part to who we connect with. But how we connect can determine how effective we are. Is it with respect or insistence? With an eagerness to learn or to simply dismiss? Is honesty and authenticity present or are do we twist them to not make us look vulnerable? Do we value another’s time and not impose or force ourselves on them when we want? If we’ve made a mistake do we blame others as if we did nothing wrong or admit some blame and reach out to the other side to get their ideas as to how to fix it?
Life is never about complete perfect solutions.
Life is about direction and small accomplishments that add up over a lifetime.
We are never in total control because life is two sided and not one sided. Things usually don’t turn out exactly as we planned. It’s because life is dependent on our interfaces with both things and people. Other perspectives bring more clarity. With it, there always needs to be adjustments.
Our capacity to be flexible to adapt, adjust and evolve is key. In fact, one of my favorite beliefs is based on this. While I know where I would like to get to, I need to see “how the cards are played” to determine the best way to get there.