All of us have been frustrated by others. We say that they should have acted a certain way but didn’t. Their behavior confuses us.
Our expectations become the measuring stick for our happiness. When others miss them, we focus on their lack of conformance dictating the amount of frustration we experience.
Recently in a meeting, attendees voiced their frustration with others who were not in attendance. I chose to ask the question. what was their responsibility in this relationship they were complaining about? Surprisingly, they did not answer the question. They just seemed to carry on with their complaints and frustration.
What was revealed to me is that our expectations blind us to understanding, with clarity, our responsibility in a relationship. OUR responsibility no matter the amount of disappointment.
It’s a safe bet that this same phenomenon is happening to those who frustrate us. This would explain, in part, the difficulty in finding a a way to connect both sides beyond their selfish expectations. When both sides are mad and frustrated with each other.
Without understanding our responsibility in the way we want behavior to manifest itself towards others, we become blinded to everything that is possible in the moment to make things better.
Some would call understanding this, the beginning of humility. To move past our ego and of being right, to do the one thing we can both do and control. Which is to do the right thing, regardless of how frustrated we are for the good of the relationship to both continue and improve going forward.