With certainty, all of us will attend on that chosen day for us. An event full of tradition and logistical plans. One day where our unfinished tasks vanish quickly.
Ironically, it is an event filled with uncertainty for those whose life ends on this day.
How much hardship or discord will my family face when I am gone? Will there be any financial hardship caused by the things that are certain from this day on?
Are my friends still alive on the day that I leave them? I wonder what they really thought about me? Will they miss me as much as I will them? Could they see how much I cared?
Honestly, did I do enough for my family? Did I help others as much as i could? Did I love without judgment or was my love (more times than not) conditional on the way I was treated? Was I ever truly understood?
I will never feel the loneliness that my spouse will begin to feel today. I see the deep pain that is created where true love once thrived. One heart becomes silent and much of the joy of life begins to subside.
Did anyone notice the moments I hid, didn’t care, or was just lazy? Did my moments of weakness disorient me in ways that only others could see? Was it a smile or a frown that followed me through each day? Could they see my struggle and pain through my smile on some days?
How much did I focus on the wrong things? Did I do enough right things? Was I always to quick to judge? Was it evident that, at times, my impulses were too strong or loud?
Was I too timid? Too selfish or too caring? An irritant or a comfort? Did my anger hurt? My jealousy sting? Did I ever say anything that helped you through your day?
Could you feel my energy when I was near?
Did I do enough during the short time I was here?
Did I believe enough in God for Him to now care?
Life passes quickly. On this day, it feels unfair.
More questions than answers that we can no longer share.
Dreams and meaningful connections lost forever in a day.
Never knowing for sure, if our lives were ever noticed or mattered along the way.