I’ve seen many times frustration appear when someone sees a weakness in another person. Some, may choose to take advantage of that person when they see their weakness. More times than not, when we want the other person to act, choose, decide, and communicate in a certain way and when they don’t we get frustrated. Are they displaying a weakness in themselves or not?
When we experience frustration our thinking stops and our emotions take over. Was it a person’s weakness that doesn’t allow them to deliver in a way that you would want them to? Is it simply that their point of view is different than ours? Is it that they simply are not listening? Or can it be that they are not interested in the issue and don’t think through what is necessary to address it effectively? Or are they lacking in a skill needed for the situation or role they are being asked to fill?
If a person is not interested in something, they won’t display the talent (nor interest) needed to effectively address an issue. Lots of my friends like golf. I understand the game but couldn’t hit a ball 50 yards. Not being able to play golf is a weakness of mine because I have chosen not to practice it. Being competent enough (not great) in anything takes practice.
When our points of view differ is it because of the point of view or the fact that we don’t listen well? Not listening well is a weakness that we may be guilty of and not the other person. Having different points of view is not.
Expecting a specific response from another person and not getting it. Does that mean that the other person has a weakness? Or could it be that we are the ones with the weakness in expecting others to conform to our wishes?
As individuals, real weakness shows itself most, in the choices we make or don’t make. (I don’t like the word decision because all decisions are based on our choices which we control.) Choices are made based on the perspective and world view we have at the moment.
Acceptance and maturity begin to develop and evolve when we embrace people for who they are openly (regardless of their choices) when interacting with them. Not trying to change who they are, or placing blame on them for who they are not, takes work. As individuals, this is a first step towards unconditional love.
Within organizations, choices that individuals make can degrade the interactions of people that you work with. Processes that are meant to bring stability become more unstable when an individual’s choices do not align with the organization’s goals. In this case, the manifestation of individual weakness, hurts and slows down the organization.
Two choices exist for those that must lead. The first choice should be to step back and see where a process breaks down and find alternative steps that the individual could execute that would bring their actions more in line with the organization’s direction & goals. If this fails, then you are left with no recourse but to replace the individual.
We desperately need to help each other as individuals first. Try to remember this the next time you get frustrated with another person.