This title suggests that I will talk about two different people when, in truth, I am talking only about one. It also might suggested that I am referring to another person when, in truth, I am talking about both others as well as ourselves.
Each of us has a public and private side to who we are. Our public persona defines the actor role we play in our lives. This actor is molded through experience, our network of friends, family and colleagues, and the level of insecurity we have about who we are. The higher the insecurity within us — the greater the dichotomy between the actor and the person.
The person has the dreams. The actor plays to those watching the stage from only a script. The person carries the pain that life presents while the actor works hard to hide everything that is true about the person.
When we are younger we get confused whether or not we should be the person or the actor. Unsure of whether to be the actor or the person at this time or in that situation. Scared about the feedback (which are essentially reviews of our performance) we work hard to please and fit in by always putting the actor first.
As we get older, our energy begins to subside. It becomes harder for us to be the actor because of the great amount of work that is needed to hide what is inside. Feedback becomes less important to us as our hearing begins to fail us. We lose track of the actor. The actor now only appears from time to time and is less prepared due to the weight of our life’s circumstance.
We should not wait for our energy to decline to become the person rather than the actor in all of our life’s endeavors. Becoming more authentic and engaged demands throwing out the script that we believe others want to see. For it is never the actor but the person that needs to grow and evolve in order for us to be everything we want to be.
(This is also so important to remember when dealing with others. Always remember to seek out the person not the actor. Always remember to work at understanding the person and not the actor. Above all else, always look to connect with and love the person and not the actor. Developing this skill will make everything around you so much more meaningful and engaged.)
Always look for the person and never be fooled by the actor.
(Even when you look in the mirror.)