We are good at telling ourselves stories. Filling them with our beliefs, irrelevant facts, misinformation,, and hopes. Especially when we are confronted with a situation, a problem, or an obstacle. Where our instinct is to lunge at our beliefs. due to our impatience with the way things are, never considering whether or not our beliefs are accurate.
There always seems to be 10 things that we can try to help us through what we are facing. Our stories end up confusing us. We want everything to happen. It not only leads us to inaction but sadly, it diminishes our faith in having the ability to get through what ever we are facing.
Forcing ourselves to reduce everything that we hear, see, and told ourselves about what we are facing to a simple either/or decision can bring great clarity into our lives. Where we make the decision binary (only two choices) that are quite distinct and are more opposite each other than just different shades of a similar theme.
Either/or demands that we get past our stories to get to the core of an issue. Either/or recoginizes that it is in choice and action where we will find resolution and movement. This approach also recognizes that whatever we decide most likely won’t be perfect. So the little details will only marginally improve our effectiveness.
Either/or forces us to block out all of the noise of irrelevant information and highly charged emotions. It gives us the freedom to step back and focus on the fundamental issues of what you find yourself in. When choosing either/or, it helps force us to take a clear direction we believe will help most and keeps us from falling back into the quicksand of too much information that can be irrelevant.
For example, you may continually complain about your significant other. You tell others and they share their opinions. But instead of trying to find the way to approach the other person about this or that, it is more powerful to first decide do I want to be with this person or not. Either I do OR I don’t. Once you decide this, the rest becomes easier.
Or, do I have pizza tonight or a salad? My friends and I go out four times a week and they only choose pizza. So I am embarassed to order a salad because I want to fit in. How do I tell them? First, you must decide for yourself either you want to be healthier and lose weight or you don’t. Once you answer this question, again, the rest becomes easier.
Either/or is not about taking sides. It’s about pushing away all of the clutter to see the real issue that we need to get clarity on for ourselves first. Either/or brings clarity to our mind so that the answer then guides us in our next steps to breaking through our issue.
It is always with a clear mind where we can do our best work. Don’t cheat yourself of the opportunity and strength that trying the either/or approach can have on the clarity of your thinking in many situations.