Bits of Life Missed Worth Exploring

The Power of Embracing Confusion in the Process of Personal Change


How do you know when things are “really” beginning to change within you? It’s when you begin to become confused. When things are not quite the same. What is now different or are you different? Something used to make sense and now you’re just not sure.

It’s not good to always be certain.

Confusion can be healthy. It’s a sign of the first step in the process of personal change. As you begin to change, things aren’t quite as comfortable. What you believed to be true now does not make as much sense.

There are many ways confusion can appear in our lives. Intimate conversations can challenge us. When reading a paragraph or hearing someone speak stops us to think why does it “feel” so different? A significant “life event” quickly changes our routines. When we don’t have the answers in front of us and don’t quite know why what we thought was true now feels wrong. Or when faced with difficult choices create confusion by forcing us to think over and over about what is best for us to do without seeing a clear “winner” among them.

There is no certainty during the process of personal change.

For confusion to be helpful, we must continue to push to understand why we are confused. Seeking clarity as to where our new information challenges our old beliefs. Sometimes, we must expose our confusion to others so they can help us reflect and help us better see where we are and what has changed. (We tend to need the help of others to see ourselves more clearly because we aren’t very good at this by ourselves).

Never consider confusion in another person a sign of weakness when they are actively trying to figure things out. To better understand. Confusion can only be a weakness when it traps us and we don’t try to fight our way through it. When we just give up. When we defy anything new and cling to our past lives and choices letting possibly new opportunities or better circumstances just pass us by.

Confusion takes time to work through to sort things out. Understanding takes time. We need to be patient with this process of discovery. Most times our learning comes more slowly than we would like.

As change continues in your life, you will “re-adjust” many times. Going from a period of uncertainty and confusion to subsequent times where things begin to feel more comfortable for our lives, routines, and habits may now be different. Our different choices will change what we now experience.

Confusion together with reflection and introspection forces us to slow down enough to test our thinking. To test our assumptions before lunging toward just any outcome leading to personal change. For we always deserve “what is best for us” if we are willing to put in the work.

Then suddenly, the process repeats itself.

Of this cycle, I am most certain.

Bits of Life Missed Worth Exploring


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