Very little comes from being mad. Yet I see people every day talk about being mad because of their boss, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, job, or situation. I get that being mad is a good way to vent some of the frustration that is deep in your heart.
Being mad always leads to blindness at the moment. Controlling your anger is key to continuing to see during difficult times. What happens when being mad leads to blindness?
People who get mad never realize that the emotion of anger that is within them does more harm to them than to the person, thing, or situation they are mad at. This blindness does great damage to them.
Let me explain. If you’re mad at your boss because they are not giving you the support you need and then you choose not to do all of the work assigned to you out of spite, who loses? You will, because when your work evaluation comes up the boss you are mad at will say, you were not a good employee because you did not complete the assignments given to you. And guess what? He or she will be right and you can’t say anything because you did this to yourself.
Being mad at someone with whom you have a close relationship, will also lead to bad things for yourself even though you feel the other person is the one that is at fault. I have seen someone hurt themselves during their moment of extreme anger.. Another person damaged their car by being so focused on their madness and not on their driving.
Many times, people who get mad really have three choices other than being mad. You can either comply for the short-term (as in the work case above) or leave a relationship where there is little hope of improvement or change.
The third choice would be to drop your preconceived beliefs about the other person AND try to understand what negative perceptions on your part contribute to how you see the other person or situation. What we believe inside always will come out in our behavior or actions. Always.
I don’t find others changing very much once they become adults. It can be done but is very hard for them to consistently behave in a way that they are not used to. Figuring out how we contributed to what made us mad can be very helpful when trying to make the best out of where we are today.
Complying or leaving are better choices in that the first gives you time to assess your options before you choose differently. Leaving brings closure and distancing from an irritant that consumed too much energy in your life and where there is little evidence that things will change. Leaving may not be instantaneous but may need to be planned as in changing jobs.
Stop being mad. It truly is one of the most unproductive uses of your time. Time that is better spent figuring out and choosing different paths that lead to much greater positive experiences.